Live for Change
Written by Nelson Briceno
5 Things to Quit Right Now!
As humans we are constantly looking for things that make us happy and things that give us passion & pleasure in life. But, we often don’t look for those things that we need to get rid of in order to become a better person and more in control. Here I will give you five things to help you stop doing, and be the best person you can be in the journey of life.
- Trying to please everyone
Sometimes we become a people-pleasers – we want everyone around us to be happy and we will do whatever is asked of them to” keep it that way. We put everyone else before ourselves. In many cases saying “yes” is a habit. It’s almost an addiction that makes us feel like we need to be needed. This makes us feel important and like we’re “contributing to someone else’s life.” It is something that I have tried to correct and learn how to say NO when it’s necessary to keep your sanity and maintain your stress levels. Also, setting your priorities helps you put the brakes on people-pleasing. You know when you feel comfortable saying no or saying yes. Ask yourself, “What are the most important things to me?”
- Fearing Change
We all want to thrive; to live our best possible lives, but I know what that fear of change can be like. It can be stifling, a constant nagging voice in the back of your mind whispering “it’s better to stay where you are, where you know how everything goes. It’s safe here “ I call it the comfort zone. What is comfortable might feel safe, but I’ve found that, when I know change is needed, it’s a bigger risk to stay put than it is to make a change. If you feel like you really need to make a change in your life but are stuck in place by your fear, here are some tips to conquer fear: accept uncertainty, looking at best and worst scenarios, embrace the idea of risk, and start with small steps. If you fear changing a job, start searching for that job you want and learn about before you apply and maybe work part-time first or even volunteer and see how you feel about. Create your solid rock strategy; if you have a plan in place, you’re much more likely to feel comfortable with the change you’re making. Ultimately, we are in this heart to enjoy and we are constantly revolving, moving and changing, isn’t much better to enjoy and embrace it with open hands?
- Living in the PAST
I can write a whole book about this, it is the most common thing that we humans love to do. In Spanish we called those people that are living in the past “yo tube” translation “I had”. I remember a friend of my mother’s who used to be wealthy and then things went wrong and she lost her business but she still keep up the appearance and every time she came to visit my mother; she would start to brag about her past. This did not allow her to see the present and live in the present and enjoy. It will limit all the things we can do now, today. We need to practice it and if we are going to make a reference of the past it should be something that will help our present situation; otherwise, leave it there in the archives of your memory. It is true and I believe things that happened give us the learning experience in order to not repeat it again in the present and I call it “magical past”.
- Putting Yourself Down
Putting yourself down can be damaging to your self-esteem and self-confidence. That includes the words you say out loud in addition to your internal negative self-talk. When you talk negatively about yourself to others, the words have a greater effect. You’re also making it easier for others to put you down. In many cases I discovered that many of my life coachs’ clients realized that some else put them down before they started putting themselves down. This is why we need to clean our memory from all this episodes that will make us less productive. You can start get out of this by simple steps that can start practicing and replace negative words with positive ones. For example you could say “I’m capable” or “I’m learning” instead of “I’m useless” or “I’m stupid.” Words can make a big difference. Two words that I recommend avoiding are “can’t” and should.” They are dis-empowering and it’s better to use alternatives when you can. For example, “can” is a good alternative to “can’t” and “could” is an alternative for “should.” Using positive affirmations might also help. I am a firm believer of affirmations and my favorite one is “it is more important of what I think about myself than whatanyone thinks about me.”
We talk a lot these days about how to detox our body but not much about how to detox the mind. And it’s the overthinking mind full of chaos that holds us back from moving forward in life. What happened with the simple live we had when we were growing up? Now, we are getting information everywhere, every minute loading our brain with so much information which some of it is as a called “Dead knowledge.” I just experienced something that never happened to me before. I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics and after I read 3 pages of all the effects of the pills, I start thinking of it and believe or not, I had all the side effects. Maybe I was allergic but I believe that sometimes knowing everything can impact us so much that make us worry. This is our time, our journey and our mind. What we choose to put into it is our choice. Sometimes let go in their own flow and believe that you have the capability to solve it when it comes. I am the first that needs to control my overthinking, and I am getting better of it, step by step. And you can do the same.
If you want any advice just contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can use a pseudonym.